Showing posts with label Appalachian trail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Appalachian trail. Show all posts

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Build it and They will Come.....Home!

A gorgeous day on the Farm.

         A Thanksgiving Tribute

 On this day of celebrating all that we are thankful for, I will do the same. 

My blog profile states how I was a Navy brat for years and then was a civilian living overseas after that.  I was born in Pennsylvania, but moved to London, England when I was only six weeks old.  I’ve lived in other countries such as the Philippines, Cyprus, Italy (3 different times), Spain and the US states of South Carolina, Hawaii, Maine, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Virginia, Florida, and finally, Kentucky. 

During the early years on the Farm.

While all that was very exciting and I usually loved every moment of it, I never developed “roots”, but I always believed that – “home is where the heart is”.  During those years, I was either a child with my family, a wife with my husband, or a parent with my children. Either way, I was with my dearest friends and I did believe that home was where the heart was.  Through the years I have made many friends and left many friends in all corners of the world. And on nostalgic occasions, such as Thanksgiving, I think of each of them even more.  Fond memories are a wonderful function of our brain.  J

From living in so many other countries/places and being immersed in various cultures other than my own, I gained an understanding and acceptance of people being different from how I am. Traditions and holidays from around the world have always fascinated me, and my family has incorporated many of them into our own celebrations through the years. While this has made me feel connected to the world, I still was lacking that grounded feeling…that feeling of “roots”.

Gorgeous Wisteria growing larger each year!
When we were living overseas and would come back to the States to visit extended family and friends, I always felt a small tug of envy that the people we saw had “roots”. They could walk through their hometown and tell a story relating back years with all the same people. I could tell stories too, but my places and people always varied.  I guess they were as envious of my adventures as I was of their stability.

About 14 years ago, I decided it was time to finally be grounded.  No more moving from place to place; I wanted to make sure my children felt like they were from SOME  WHERE in particular.  Although it was a lifestyle change for me, I thought I was giving my children what I’d always been longing for.

We had owned homes other places, but when I bought in Kentucky, it was different—I bought a large tract of land. I like to think of it as our homestead!  J   The land had been farm land prior to my purchase.  I remember asking the owner what the land had been used for. Had it ever been a dump? What had they grown on the land? The list of questions was long.  And, I still remember his confused look while he simply answered that he had owned the land for over fifty years and before that it had been farmed.  J 

Imax, just hanging out under an apricot tree.

Perimeter fencing went up even before we moved on to the land.  This was more to keep our animals in than to stake my claim on the land.  Whenever I say “claim the land”, I get such a visual and not necessarily a nice one…..On this Thanksgiving Day, I will pause for just a moment to let you think of the contrast with how different the settlers had been from the Native Americans.  L

Our land was undeveloped grassland with a very slight gentle roll. There were no trees except at the very back of the property.  We had our work cut out for us; we built the farm from the bottom up. We put in paddocks, built run-ins, plowed a garden, planted an orchard, built the home and then landscaped. It has been a long progress and one that probably will never be completed – there will always something to do.  

My oldest daughter was joined by my youngest,
 and they hiked together for just a bit
on the Appalachian Trail.
But while the trees, shrubs, and all other plants were beginning to grow roots, and become established, I felt the same thing happening for me.  Finally I had a place that I called home. I had never had that before. In the past when asked where I was from, I just always said, “Well, I was born in Pennsylvania but left for England when I was six weeks old.”  Now, I had the farm. And the dogs, horses, llamas, and sheep living with us are all our pets.



Each new generation should go forth, learn new things, meet new people, see the world, and gain a richer appreciation of life. One daughter has hiked from Georgia to Maine on the Appalachian Trail and is planning to hike from Mexico to Canada on the Pacific Crest Trail this next year to raise money for the research on Lyme Disease.  hikefor sponsor link      And, my other daughter is planning to go to graduate school in Europe.  
McAfee Knob in Virginia



Even though they are independent and long for adventure and to see the world, I know the farm, their homestead, and their mother will call to them and eventually they will return home.  J    Ah, yes, build it and they will come…..home. 


                                                                                           Happy Thanksgiving!




Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Empty Nest Syndrome

Because of the chaos in my life and friends’ lives in the past few days, I can’t focus too well.  So this blog won’t be about farm life, rather just LIFE!
One of my daughters on the Appalachian Trail.
Gently guide them through the years, so they may
have the courage to find their inner direction and make
the right choices when it matters most. 


Our homes, our “nests”, periodically shift.  We are all aging and enduring different stages of life constantly; Life is forever changing. Factors that come in to play for some are: driving; college; bachelorhood; marriage; children; grandchildren; divorce; death. Added bonuses along the way are: friends; and, pets. Maybe you laugh because you know some who enjoy their pets more! True!

But, at some point, our nest does change. Perhaps parents you’ve been taking care of pass away. Perhaps a spouse leaves. Probably most common is that children grow up and leave home, whether heading to college, a job and apartment, or marriage. Suddenly the nest seems very empty. You could still have a nest-full, but when a person or pet that has been an intricate part of your home is no longer there, it takes some adjusting.
Eggs in Nest
They can't always stay safely tucked in
the nest.They need the freedom to become more
than we can ever imagine them to be.
My daughters have been out of the house for quite a few years now, but come home during the summers and/or other breaks. That takes some re-adjusting, even though it’s a blessing. Similarly, a spouse faces these very issues when he/she tries to fit back into the family unit after being deployed with the military for an extended period. We must all be flexible as to our roles within the family. Traditional gender roles are usually tossed out the window these days in an effort to survive.  Everyone, even children, must be a solid cog in the gear to make the family wheel turn.


But, what does a parent do when suddenly faced with the children gone? Well, after all, it’s been 18 years since you’ve actually been “YOU”.  Maybe even longer depending on age the children are when leaving home. So, it’s important to reconnect with that you.  Here are 10 things you could implement to assist with the adjustment.  Believe it or not, I think many go through this same mode of questioning their lives upon retirement. Again, we have to be flexible….nothing is ever constant! If anyone reading this has additional tips, I welcome the comments in the comment box!
Checking to see when next meal is coming.
Well, maybe some things never change!!

1)  Unless you’re planning on turning into a Wild Thing, concentrate on making your house 'homey'.  Pick a candle fragrance that you like and burn it. Senses play a big factor in comfort. Arrange your furniture so that it is cozier and that you feel you have a little niche for your books, crafts, computer, etc.  A small lamp on in the evenings is also so much better than stark overhead lighting.

2)  Re-connect with friends that you have not had as much time for. Lunch dates and reminiscing can also remind you of just how good your life really is. Choose friends that are upbeat and help boost your mood.  The last thing you need right now is someone draining your energy. It’s okay to be the ‘person in need’ for a change.

3)  Make sure you are eating healthfully.  Bingeing because you are feeling blue, is the worst thing that you can do.

4)  Take up a sport, or resume a sport that you haven’t had much time for. You may find “you still have it” in you! Plus, the endorphins will help elevate your state of mind.

5)  Have a hobby or craft that you’d always wished you knew how to do, but never had time for? Well, you just might have the time available now! You probably have the extra space to do it in now, too. Don’t let ‘tenant-free’ bedrooms depress you; find an excuse to utilize that space. (Keep in mind that if they are coming back when the semester ends, you may not want to turn their room into a hatchery!)

6)  Take a mini-vacation that your budget can afford.  Paying for one or two tickets is certainly different from five!
Wanting to be recognized!
No matter how strong of an individual
we are, there are moments when we
 like to feel appreciated and recognized.


7)  Get season tickets to a theatre company or music venue. A reason to dress up and hit the town pampers us all and the cultural experience makes us feel as though we are connected to a bigger appreciation of the arts.

8)  There is a lot to do for free. If you live near parks, or museums, or library, there is always something going on.  Go join in, or just watch and feel alive. Seeing others having fun will bring a smile to your face.


9)  There are so many civic organizations and clubs that focus on helping others in need.  I have discovered that when I’m doing something nice for someone else, it usually helps me forget my problems.  Re-direct the energy that is draining you into something positive for your community, a friend, or yourself.


10)  Finally, grab a cup of tea, and go sit outside. Nature is so amazing. As you watch the clouds roll across the sky; feel the sun on your face and the wind in your hair; hear the sounds of the birds around you, your senses seem to understand and accept the fact that everything is changing and to survive, we must be flexible.